I had a bit of an epiphany tonight while pondering on ideas of some sort of visual aid for my social skills groups. The kids were asleep, Pinterest was up on the IPAD, and the Merlot was flowing! Working with kiddos on the Autism Spectrum has grown to be "one of my favorite things". This has been a significant work in progress, I'm not going to church it up. 10 years ago I remember dreading my job as a direct residential staff after being bit not once, not twice, but 3 times by the same little boy in one shift. I have learned a ton in the past decade about Aspergers and Autism, and gained an appreciation for the strengths within that pretty heavy diagnosis.
The following goes off some generalizations, albeit positive ones: These wonderful children tend to have some amazing sensory sensitivities, their minds process information best in visual/picture format, and abstract concepts are often a challenge. Yes, I know there are some exceptions to this, but when I talk to people and give them pointers on how to get on the same level with a kiddo--these are the pointers I have found most helpful.
As a counselor this has been a bit of a challenge for me as I want to improve emotional awareness--"How do you feel when things like that happen? What can you do to feel better when that happens?" These are very difficult questions for kiddos on the spectrum as if they are not feeling it in the moment, they tend to have a very difficult time reflecting on it and tracking thoughts/feelings. Sure, sometimes the child has a complete meltdown of catastrophic proportions for an hour. But then he comes in to see me, and is as good as gold. Out of sight out of mind, hyperfocus on the here and now---a true talent if you ask me.
This is one of those truly magnificent qualities that I am so appreciative of witnessing with these kids. See, for most of us if we have a bad day, a nasty interaction with someone, frustrations building---we tend to work on trying to LET IT GO. This is never easy, and there are many days where I find myself stewing for hours over mundane things. The instant I think about it ---my anger fuels up and I am in "ragin Cajun" mode. The snide comment by another pre-school mom about my son wearing ninja turtle jammies in public has me replaying in my head all day about how "she should mind her business". In those moments, I can see the beauty of having black and white, good or bad, all or nothing kind of thinking.
Now back to my epiphany....I have always wanted to come up with a visual to help the kiddos I work with gain some insight into this wonderful ability to "bounce back" and not let a negative event impact their whole day. Part of this concept is that I want the kids to gain an understanding of how to learn from the event and handle frustration better in the future. It is difficult to plan for the future if you can't recall what the past hurdles were. THE FAILED EXAMPLES: the minions from despicable me, a beach ball held under water, a bommerang---all got mixed reviews aka big-time confusion. Instead, I love the symbolism of an arrow. When I think of arrows I think of: direction, Cupid, swiftness, the hot elf from Lord of the Rings (Legolas) :), and purpose. An arrow can only be released when it is pulled back----love this symbolism!!
The arrow metaphor is not only simple and easy to visualize, it can also be easily acted out for kids. At my next group the kids and I are going to talk about what can pull our arrows back (bullies, loud noises, poor sleep, losing our favorite item, etc.). Then we are going to talk about what we can do to release our arrows and feel strong again (belly breathing, fidget toys, warm tea, talking with someone, etc.) This metaphor can be used at the family dinner table as well. Reference your inner Merida (reference to the Disney movie Brave). How do you control your anger arrows to hit a bullseye? What makes arrows more dangerous? Who is the best archer in the family and why?
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